Oh the Horror

I always say I'm not a fan horror movies, but I guess that's been changing recently...

And technically, I'm still not a fan. I don't typically like horror for the sake of horror.
Here's how I view horror plot:
"Oh shit! There's a monster trying to kill us!!"
"Why??"
"Cuz......evil!"

Yeah that doesn't fly with me. The premise alone bores me and then there's the idiots that get the plot moving. Whether it's tv or movies, horror inevitably relies on dumbasses in order to keep the evil going. Evil is always encapsulated, in a magic box or tomb or country, and eventually some asshole lets it out.

Dumb Blonde bimbo -"Hey what's this creepy relic thing that's making noises?"
Dumb Jock whose only purpose is to get into Dumb Blonde's pants, (either in scene or in reality no one can tell) - "I dunno let's open it"
GAHHHHHH!

Then suddenly I'm looking at either a gratuitous sex scene, or a horrifically dismembered body, or a combination of the two.
Yayyyy-Barf.

That's why I don't like horror, because it's seems like it takes my intelligence and says, "Hey go out for a walk, you can come back at the end where a dying old man gives us some disconnected advice that sounds like a jumble of analogies and parables that have nothing to do with the plot and seem somewhat anachronistic. kthxbyeeee"

Usually the point of the horror story is to warn against a deadly sin, things like greed or lust or whatever the case maybe be.
But then I started watching Guillermo Del Torro projects.

(pause for a moment of a applause for the great Guillermo)

I love this guy. He takes the twisted aspects of horror and blows them out fantastically yet roots them in realism. It's brilliant.

I recently watched the premiere episode of The Strain. I purposefully didn't watch too many commercials or read any previews because I like going into a show with fresh eyes.

**Be forewarned, I spoil some plotty things. I make general statements but if you're offended by basic plot spoilers, then I suggest watching the show then coming back. You've been warned**

I have to admit when it first started, I was feeling a tad wary.
It seemed like a very familiar set up. Classifying the over worked dad, with the perfect milk toast son and over bearing mother.
 A plane full of people reaching the last leg of their international flight, and of course our two dummy flight attendants.

One, the male flight attendant quite nearly shouts "YOU GOTTA COME BACK HERE!!!" to which the female flight attendant passively says, "Meh, this doesn't seem too important" and casually walks back meeting some more broad characters.
A grungy sleeze goth pop star.
A nerdy guy with glasses.
A little girl in a pink dress.

I nearly turned it off when a giant cloaked figure emerged from the cargo bay, much to the shock and dismay of our flight attendants.
But then Guillermo happened.

We start to see the mystery unfold.
Apparently an old man in a pawn shop owns a brain in a jar and sick looking cane-sword ala Papa Malfoy, but better.

Some of the people, including goth rocker dude, survived enough to coherently ask "WTF mate?" And lets not spend too much time mulling over what happened with the wigs, because it is a pilot... but you know there was that.

As the pilot gets deeper into the story more questions start to unravel. Like who is the pawn shop old man? How is he connected to dialysis millionaire? Why does dialysis millionaire want New York to be covered in zombie vampire things?
But my favorite little twist is when fresh-from-jail-get-away-driver is stopped by the police, with the giant demon coffin in his truck. There's only one way this can go, clearly, as the only way this story continues is if some dumbass (see explanation above) lets the evil go by.

I start to think, "Ughhh now the dumby is gonna be this police guy, who'll just wave him through"
But he doesn't!
OoOOOO!
Then homeslice reaches for a gun
OOOoooOO!!
Our boy Sean Astin pops in.
DON'T DIE SAM! YOU STILL NEED TO HELP FRODO! I MEAN EPHRAIM!
Homeslice hands Sean a card from Dialysis Millionaire, is it magic???
Sean waves him on, thus (of course) letting the evil out, but begging the question:
HOW IS SEAN ASTIN CONNECTED TO DIALYSIS MILLIONAIRE?!?

All of this culminating into the most gloriously creepy scene of pink dress girl softly reaching for papa saying "I'm cold!" over and over in French.

Guillermo. Slow clap.

 I'm absolutely engrossed in this series promises to be a fully rounded story with monsters and horrors galore.
So get excited!

Sequels & Remakes

I am the first to groan and roll my eyes when a sequel, prequel, or remake is made. Probably because I've been burned on such things like Star Wars, Prometheus, Psycho, and even The Land Before Time. (Seriously that movie was great till they made 600 more)

The problem is when a movie or tv show does well execs or more trusting to have a repeat event. This isn't evil, it's business. You make an excellent cheesy gordita taco that everyone buys, then you're gonna make more of the same thing. 

Makes sense till the script and production are rushed to meet demand and you end up with a dog-ate-my-homework result. 

So I get wary, we all do! Any nerd will tell you how apprehensive they were about remaking the Hulk so soon after the original...uh...first attempt. 

But lately it seems like execs are making so smart moves. I'll be the first to admit when I saw they were making Fargo into a tv I was less than impressed. This movie is quintessential Coen Brothers, and one of my all time favorites. This was like hearing, "hey you know that thing you love so much? Let me borrow it, also I'm a complete stranger with questionable reasons." No please. Don't do that, please.

I'm 5 episodes in to this show, and completely addicted. This proving the point of when you have great writers, amazing actors, and beautiful cinematography, you can do just about any ok story you want! That's why Father of The Bride was so good! Why the 2nd Avengers knocked out of the park!

This is why we can hope and dream such films like the Tina Fey produced sequel to Hocus Pocus, might actually turn out. Why the Star Wars movie will rely on actual puppets instead of shoehorned CG. We can hope! So longer as there's great writers, amazing actors, smart execs, and solid cinematographers, we can definitely hope! 

"Only a fool thinks he can solve the worlds problems"

"Yeah but you gotta try don't you?"

~Fargo (2014, FX Tv show)

Orange

Oh holy Season 2 my friends.

That was Amazing! I'm honestly so glad to be living in an era with such amazing tv right now. Not only that but having the access to it all, I feel incredibly lucky.

I friggin love the relationships on this show, and I find it way more relatable than Girls. Even though yes, I am not in prison, clearly, but the dynamics of their relationships are incredibly well rounded. I can not speak more highly of this show and if you have Netflix I beg you to watch it. The writing staff is like a mix between the rhythm of Breaking Bad and the power shifts of Game of Thrones, with a much needed dose of realism. It wonderful and the writing staff, cast, and crew all deserve a standing ovation.

And for godsakes SOMEONE please talk to me about the end of season 2!!!