So as an answer to several frustrated prayers I have finally had a normal audition! For a while I wasn't going to even mention it on this blog because it was so normal, but I realized I have to celebrate this in some way!
I had yet another call for an improv audition, this time for a holiday show. I decided to do some more background checks on exactly who I was auditioning for. I want to make sure I was going to an audition and not a random back alley taping.
Usually when I research the person I'm auditioning for I get a direct link to a Facebook page, which in short means that there won't be a whole lot of info to pull on the person. Sure I could awkwardly friend request them in order to stalk through their photos, notes, comments, and status updates.
But that's just creepy. And sooo last month.
So when I came across a few articles on this director and his work, I knew I wasn't dealing with my typical audition. The first article talked about how he was a playwright who had produced work that recently went to Broadway. This would have been enough to impress me had I not read further and found out his hit show was an impassioned story about the people involved in the Columbine shootings.
From what I could glean this guy has worked not only as a playwright but as an actor and producer.
In short, this guy looks legit.
The theater where the audition was held was one I had been to before. I had seen a friend perform her one woman show there, I had an audition for a play there, and I had even auditioned for an agent there. So when I went in I already felt at home.
I knew where the bathroom was, I knew what the stage looked like, and for the most part I felt good vibes from the place. The longer I remain in California the more insane my reasoning gets, but I really am taking notice of "vibes" when I go to places. For instance, creepy-back-alley-falsely informed-audition equates to bad vibes in my book. So does embarrassing-pasadena-karaoke audition place. Where as this place and... well... hold on I know I'll think of a good vibe location... there must be... another..
...
I'll get back to that later.
A lot of it depends on my apprehension and the previous experiences, but a good majority of the feeling also depends on the people occupying the space. It's a vast array, but like many of my performing counterparts, I like to people watch when I'm waiting for an audition. My perception of "vibes" (which I will now stop using air quotes for) depends on how people in the waiting room are acting. Whether they treat each other with respect or as untrustworthy opponents whom shall be vanquished.
As an actor its almost always the case that you'll have people trying to outdo each other. And it's usually the dumbest things too, 'Wow it's cold out there.'
'Oh I know, I'm such a wimp when it comes to the cold'
'Yeah I grew up in Arizona, so anything below 80 is cold to me'
'I've lived in California all my life and even if it's hot out, I'm cold!"
'Well I'm shivering because I didn't bring enough layers!'
So there. On and on it goes. Back and forth with info you really don't care about nor do you actually mean to be true.
Yeah... I take part in it too I'll admit. However, when it comes to common courtesy it is amazing how far people will go to trip up another just to get ahead.
On my last visit to this theater I had auditioned for an agent a friend recommended for me. Upon entering the theater's waiting room I was knee deep in prosti-tots and their overbearing stage parents. I was a very tall twenty something phenomena in this sea of future therapy clients.
I was a little lost because the only information I had was to show up at this theater. Confused, I asked a woman near by where I could sign in when she snidely remarked, 'Well, you need a headshot first.'
"Oh, yes of course, thank you I have one," I replied calmly, though I was punching her face in my head, "and a resume too! These silly credits change so often I can hardly keep it updated for long!"
Her giant maw only moved in a calculated glare. I wondered whether she has provided her daughter with a resume, as I pushed past her to find the monitor.
The audition went well enough, though I never received representation.
This was a good vibe location.
So when the holiday improv audition came I sent a begrudging prayer of "Can I just have one actual audition? I'm starting to forget why I like this so much. I feel like I'm not living in the same reality as these people."
I asked forgiveness for my impatience and sent then words of thanks that I was still able to do these auditions.
I walked into the waiting room that was thankfully filled with women of my age. We made polite conversation which soon turned into genuine talk. It wasn't long before we were all called in to the theater to begin the audition.
After a few short words we were up on the stage awaiting the guidelines for our instructions. Paul, the director explained that we should think of a Christmas character and that we had to give clues as to who we were. The others would ask us questions and we were to respond as that Christmas character.
At that moment my mind had gone of on a rabbit trail, as it often does. I don't know the exact details of the trilling thought, but it was at that moment the Paul pointed at me to start the game.
Realizing I hadn't thought of any character my mind jumped immediately to the Coca Cola Polar Bear.
Anyone may have thought, Rudolph, the Grinch, Tiny Tim, heck even the Ghost of Christmas Past would probably pop up. But no, I choose the bear.
As soon as the thought hit my body hunched over in a big wide stance as my lower jaw jutted out.
"Are you a boy or a girl?" The first person asked
Oh my gosh they're never going to guess this.
"Uh...Boy... I guess" I responded
"Are you human?"
"Nope!"
You're really going to have to give them more information than that.
"What do you like to eat?"
Awesome!
"Baby seals!"
They're still confused you goof, pontificate...
"which sounds harsh, but it's just who I am. Really at the end of the day I like to crack open a bottle of Coca Cola. Really slakes the thirst, you know what I mean?"
That's when I had them. They finally understood and from then on it was a lot of fun. We laughed, cracked jokes at each other, and saved each other when we understood. The director made adjustments and comments when it was necessary, but for the most part let us have free reign so that he could see how we worked and where we took ideas.
It was, amazingly, like a real audition. Apparently those do happen every now and then!
As I walked out of the audition that night I finally reached a level of confidence that allowed me to think, if I make it great if I don't oh well. Either way that felt great.
I jumped in my car and slammed the wheel shouting "YES! That's what I needed! THAT was an actual audition. Thank you thank you!! I wish they could all be as good as this!"
In the immortal dorky words of my father I shouted in my mind and aloud "That's what I'm talkin bout!"
My love was renewed and kindled once again. A glimmer of inexpressible hope spreading through my chest and creeping its way up my neck into a smile.
This is what I was made to do.
Sending hopeful smiles your way
~The Goof
PS If you wish to see this show I'm in, come to the Avery Schreiber Theater this Friday and Saturday. Tickets at the door, details found here http://www.averyschreibertheatre.com/
