Could Do This Everyday: Awesome

If I was on cloud nine at work, I was on cloud seventeen at the fitting. When I first walked into the building I couldn’t believe the size of it. It was enormous yet chic, with shiny silver desktops and low walled cubicles, you could see the entire office which seemed to go on for miles.

In the very back stood a large selection of clothes and a tiny woman scrambling about. If Brad Bird ever had inspiration for his super hero costume character, aka Edna, it was this woman. She was short with a sheet of black hair parted down the middle to reveal her sharp square glasses and curious smirk. Her appearance seemed harsh but she’s was as happy as a clam and cute as a button running around all of us taking measurements.

After I had taken a look at the contract I was to sign I called my agent to see if he agreed with everything it said. While I’m speaking with him, this little costume designer is buzzing around me pinning and making notes. I have my hands up so she can see how the material falls and my right hand is awkwardly bent downwards trying to listen to my agent.
“So in essence it all seems good on my end,” Karim, my agent, was saying. “And we’re very proud of you for booking this thing. It’s really great Katie.”
“Thank you Karim, that means a lot. Now if you don’t mind I have a tiny woman with her hand up my shirt so I think I need to go.”
All parties laughed. Ho yeah, point for a comedienne!

We went through several costumes, each one as dorky as the last. We ended up choosing a pair of khaki high waters, my white graduation flats, with a yellow pollo and cardigan; but what I was really hoping for was the bedazzled bug sweater vest. Alas, that option was never to be.

A few more options were given to me including a v-neck sweater that I unintentionally put on inside out.
This doesn’t look right I told myself looking in the mirror. Something isn’t right about this.

In all honesty I was too excited to figure it out because I kept saying in my head I GET PAID TO DO THIS! PEOPLE ARE DRESSING ME UP! THIS RULLLEEEESSSS!
You know, because I'm a pro now.

When I meandered back in to show the designers, I knew as soon as I saw their faces that I had put it on inside out. I’ve never been one for fashion so this fitting made me a little nervous. I knew I was going to goof up in some way, like telling them my bra size was a 26 B instead of a 36 B (an event that accidentally happened during a fitting questionnaire for Richard III) When I heard the costume department have another big laugh I figured Well at least they're laughing, and not firing me.

When I had been primped and prepped with all the fixings for my outfit, I was presented to whom I assume were the producers of the project. They sat in room situated in the middle of the office. This room was exactly I had imagine a marketing company to be. It was a four sided clear glass room, complete with a large meeting table and high backed swivel chairs. It took everything in me to not stare at their enormous spread of PF Changs order-in lunch and their tower of sodas. I was presented before the producers who nodded their approval before switching their attention back to the pile of Chinese food that wafted throughout the glass room with their enticing scents.

The fitting was finally finished, and I was ushered over to one of the low walled cubicles to sign the rest of my contract. I had to wait few minutes for some papers to be printed so I started to look around. There were a couple of posters detailing what the set would look like and the order of shots they’d be taking. This whole commercial ended up being much more involved than I had expected. There were two back up jazzercisers, a life guard, a kid who looked exactly like Edward Cullen, and a Guido. Because I never received a full script you can imagine how confused I was by the direction this of this whole project was taking.

My eyes finally landed on the board that showed the cast list. And who should I see but the guy from Groundlings as my co-host! I was ecstatic even though I still didn’t know who he was, but I knew Well of course HE got the job! He was a Groundling!

The thing that surprised me even more was smirking awkwardly nect to his picture was my goofy  mug. I wasn't completely sure what that meant in terms of the cast but I knew it had to mean he was the Chet to my Patty.
NO WAY!

After signing the paperwork I said, “Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow!” when one of the production assistance's stopped me.
“Oh you aren’t actually called till Friday.”
“What? Mimi said I’d be shooting Thursday and Friday?”
“No that’s for the jazzercizers, the Guido, the vampire, Chet, and the life guard. But you’ll be in Friday”
“Oh, alright then. I’ll see you Friday!”

When I came into work the next day everyone asked me “I thought you were doing your commercial today?” or “What happened?”
Someone was even kind enough to ask “Did ya get cut from the project already?”

I explained the mix up and that I would in fact be shooting all day on Friday so no need to worry. Sitting at my desk I imagined what it would be like if I hadn’t booked this gig. Having to sit one more more day at this side job. Not to mean that I'm not grateful for it, it's an excellent survival job as most go, but I brightened at the thought that I had finally accomplished something and I would be legitimately "on set" for an ENTIRE DAY!
 Everyone’s problems seemed to melt before me. The receptionist was in a tizzy that the paper for the printer’s hadn’t come in yet, and I was able to smile because in the end I really don’t care! I get to be on set tomorrow!

Of course I didn’t say this out loud, but it made the stress of this day much easier to swallow. Especially when my boss approached me in a very serious manner saying, “there are no sodas left in the fridge.” This very “important” task was a breeze when I thought, I finally get to do my dream job tomorrow! While filling up the sodas in the fridge (the fridge that was only half full, and not COMPLETELY empty as my boss so gravely took note of) I hummed a happy tune.
These meaningless tasks were much more bearable with the thought of the next day.

When I got home, my roommate had bought a tray of fried chicken in celebration of my booking. She’s always been thoughtful like that. The next morning I got up and an ungodly hour of around 6 AM and showered. I couldn’t help but think If I worked at Starbucks I would have already been working for an hour by now. I hummed another happy tune. Fresh and clean I packed my things and headed out the door and wound up getting to set a little early.
 About forty minutes early. That's a lot of "early" in actor time.

The gate-man stopped my car and asked “Can I help you?” I didn’t know how to respond so I said, “Um. I’m an actor?” He looked a little doubtful and I was tempted to say “I haven’t been to make up yet” but he waved me into the parking lot before I had the chance.

Since I was so early I called my dad because I couldn’t contain my excitement and I figured he would be the only one awake at this awful hour. Luckily he was out and about walking Angel, our dog. We talked for a bit and while I kept saying how excited I was I could hear his voice catch a little.
“I’m just... so proud, that you get to do what you love.” I started to tear up as well. Hopefully one day when I’m on a big movie set I can look back at this and say “Oh how cute we were for being proud of my little Internet commercial.”

But since it is my first and only official gig thus far, I'm still allowed to tear up at the thought of my dad saying how proud he was of me. And not just me but my sister as well. We were reaching for our dreams and our finger tips were finally brushing the surface of them.

When it was time for me to head in I said a long and loving good bye to my dad. I walked into the studio to find it bustling with activity. It was clear that the crew had already been there for a few hours prepping and getting ready for the day’s work. It struck me as intimidating because all of these people were working huge heavy set pieces and lights that depended on me getting my lines right. That’s when it hit me.
I never got a script.

The only lines I knew were the ones I had said in the audition. And even those were a little hazy as I hadn’t said them since a the beginning of the week!
Oh no, I’m letting all these people down. What am I gonna do?!

Just then, a PA came in to show me where I would be dressing and where “holding” would be. (Holding area is where an actor waits, out of the way of the crew, before they’re brought on set.)

“Awesome, hey quick question,” I asked timidly, “I never got a script, do you guys have an extra one?”
“Here you can have this one, there haven’t been any changes since the audition so everything should look the same.”

I skimmed through it, and he was right. Other than the scenes I had never seen with the vampire, life guard, and jazzercise crew; all my lines were the same. I allowed myself to relax, and breathed easier after that. I had some time to kill before make up and wardrobe arrived so I ran through my lines over and over and over, until I was completely confident in what I had to do.

Feeling more prepared I looked around a little more. There was a sign that said we could enjoy free wifi, YES! I proceeded to bombard my Facebook and Twitter accounts with my excitement, which I'm sure was bothersome to people, but I could really care less.

As I was sitting in holding posting pictures and annoying anyone willing to read my status updates, one of the crew members pointed me in the direction of the crafty (food services), also known as my favorite part on set.
I was one of the first peole in line at the crafty and boy did they have a spread! There was fruit, cereal, oatmeal, bacon, sausage, bisquits, tea, coffee, water, energy bars, and so much more! I loaded my plate up with healthy foods, because I didn’t want to get nervous on set and end up stinking the place up, if you know what I mean.

While I was eating the Edward Cullen guy came in and asked to sit with me. I of course said, "Sure!" We talked for a while about how great of an opportunity this was, how timely the pay check would be, and how exciting everything seemed.

“And this is a great spread of food isn’t it?” he asked
“Heck yeah! They even have bacon!”
“I didn’t even see the bacon!”
“Yeah,” I replied, “I didn’t get any because I was afraid I’d be farting all day.”

Too far there.

I glanced up at the vampire look-a-like and was afraid how he’d respond. He paused and thankfully he chuckled a little. I made to leave when another guy asked if he could sit with us. He was a serious looking with a turtle neck and leather gloves. It had been cold that morning, but not overly so.
Begging to switch subjects I asked the new guy, “Do you get cold easily?”
“No.” He replied definitively.
Fake Edward and I glanced at each other, at this strange stunted answer.
“Oh,” I said, “You just look so wrapped up. I mean I get cold easily too, but that’s because I was raised in Arizona.”
“I’m wrapped up,” he paused ominously, only making eye contact with his bowl of oatmeal, “because I, am a hand model.”

I could tell vampire kid and I were trying to appear like we were more interested than we were. The way this guy said he was a hand model made it seem like we actors should be in awe. The vampire kid was much better at feigning interest while I tried to suppress fits of giggles.

“Cool, so you’ll be modeling the phone then huh?” vampire asked.
“Yes, I will” he replied importantly.
“How did you get into hand modeling?” I inquired, ever so innocently.
“Someone noticed my hands,” he said.
“And recognized you for your talent?” I semi-joked. He didn’t quite catch the sarcasm and responded, “Yes.”
I had to excuse myself as his highness was making my suppressed laughter surface in small hiccups.

It was a good excuse to leave as it was now time for me to get into hair and makeup. My hairstylist and makeup artist quickly became two of my favorite people on set. Not only were they hilarious to chat with but they were amazing at their jobs. One of my favorite questions they asked me before they got started was “So we’re just making you look like you were in the audition, minimal makeup and cheesy hair.”
Um I put a lot of makeup on that day…

“I think they want me to look as dorky as possible, so hot mess please!”
And off they went! Part of me wished I was doing something a little more elegant because I knew they would have made me look flawless. Between takes they’d rush over to spray my hair or berate me for how chapped my lips were. It was weird having so much attention! But at the same time, I’d much rather they be concerned about my “dorky beauty” because Lord knows how much I pay attention to that every day.
Don’t type that.

While getting teased and shellacked, I finally met my co-host Mark. I immediately felt right at home.
This must be what it feels like with two co-stars! This is so cool!
We’d go over our corny lines and ad lib here and there. Mark was hilarious and constantly had me breaking in rehearsal. I began thinking of all the crew around me and I quickly started talking myself out of laughing all the time. I didn’t want to waste anyone’s precious time.

Before they brought us out for lighting and a short blocking rehearsal we got on the topic of Groundlings. I told Mark that I was still in the program and awaiting writing lab. He gave me a few hints and tips saying the “Lab is hard, but you have to just trust that you know what you’re doing and have the confidence to keep going. A lot of people stop or shut down because the criticism can be pretty harsh. Just know that you’re funny and you’ll be fine.”

We talked about cast members and opportunities that open up as soon as you pass certain levels. It was amazing to get an insider view of how the whole company works. I finally understood why so many people were desperate to get through the program when all I had wanted to do was up my skills in comedy and writing. It gave me a good reason to reflect on my time at the Groundlings and just how much I needed to utilize their prep classes if I wanted to advance any further.

The time finally came for us to be on set and get to filming. The rest of the eleven hour day was a blur. I was in my element and having the time of my life. I feel like I learned more there than I ever did sitting in a class and hearing these film terms tossed around.

To be on set and actually getting paid to be there forced me to learn quickly what everything meant. Enunciation is important, but popping your p’s makes the sound woman/man go nuts. Our sound woman was an adorable eight months preggo, who looked like she would pop any minute. Mark and I had fun whispering into our microphones (sound only she could hear) muttering things like “hey I know you’re pregnant, but could you please lift this metal bench for me?” or “hey, I know you’re pregnant, but I’m really tired of walking. I need a piggy back ride pronto. Thanks”

The whole crew was amazing, and I couldn’t ask for a better first experience. We all joked and laughed. Threw in ad-libbed sequences that would end up being cut, but didn’t stop us from cracking each other up. At one point we had one of the crew members turned a display table with his fingertips just barely showing as we motion towards the phones. You have to look closely but you can see them in one of the shots. Every little “flub” in the commercial was planned including a banner that falls in one of the last shots.

On one take the director asked me to be doing some busy work before I said my lines. I jokingly offered, “oh you mean like beat box?” He laughed and then looked at me seriously, “Can you do that?” I nodded I could.
His smirk said it all. And before next take he lowered his voice so only I could hear him, “Let’s do that!” Before anyone knew what was happening, sound and video were rolling, there were lights and the “Action!”

I looked around calmly then bust out in my most gangster beat box set. Then I abruptly stopped like I heard my phone ringing. I held this position for a second, and everyone was completely silent. I thought I had just made a complete ass of myself when the director finally yelled “Cut!” And an explosion of laughter erupted from the entire cast and crew. Everyone kept saying, “We did NOT expect that to come out of you!”
Whew! I forgot no one can some much as sniffle until the director says "Cut!"

When the day was finally starting to wrap itself up we did “the martini shot.” This is the last shot filmed for the production and it’s a very big deal. Once we had that one “in the can” we took pictures and shared our thanks with everyone. There were even some people from the LG company who stopped by to watch and share their congratulations on the fun shoot. It was clear this was a chance of a lifetime, to have such a fun cast and crew was an opportunity rarely had. When I handed back all my costumes and apparel I thanked everyone for their hard work and attention. I was absolutely glowing when I drove back home.

Later that night I went with a few friends to Monrovia to a coffee house where my friend Faith was playing and singing. As I ordered my cup of coffee and sat down to listen to her jazzy tunes I couldn’t help but think over and over “I could do this every day.”

Thank you for all the support and encouragement. I can't imagine what I'll be like when I book my next big gig. Thank you to my agent The Polygon Group for getting me the audition, to Mimi Webb Miller for casting me, and for Moxie Pictures for their amazing crew and production! Thank you for making my first official gig Amazballs!
 Sincerely,
The Goof

 Click here to see the LG commercial

Could Do This Every Day: Little Ball of Stress

I suppose a seasoned actor would take this news, shrug their shoulders and head home. I am not a seasoned actor, yet. Therefore I proceeded to dance and call everyone I knew, mainly my sister, my dad, and my step mom. I proffered over and over that I didn’t know if it was for sure and that plenty of actors get cut when waiting on avail but I had a good feeling about this.


It was Monday night and the message had said “tomorrow morning,” so I assumed that meant 8 o’clock Tuesday morning I’d know everything. Eight was a happy medium in the business, not so awful as 7 am, and not so lazy 10am. When I got home it took everything in my will to go to sleep. My dreams were filled to the brim with scenarios of getting the job, not getting the job, getting the job and they make it into a movie. In essence, I had no idea what to expect. When I woke up the next morning I flew out of bed to go to work.
In the excitement of all my grandiose thoughts and dreams I forgot to pack my phone with me. I even made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t be watching it like a hawk the whole day, so I spent the first half of work ignoring my purse where I assumed it was hanging out.
It wasn’t until 2 o’clock that I couldn’t take it anymore and I ripped open my purse only to find my wallet and a few empty gum wrappers.
Oh crap

I searched through everything, my pockets, my desk, even my Tupperware from lunch (you never know). It was nowhere to be found. For a brief second I entertained the thought that someone had stolen my phone. My non-internet-connecting-would-be-analog-brick of a phone.

Katie! Wake up, no one’s stolen your phone, and it’s not the 90’s! Check the voicemail.
Just then I got a crystal clear picture of my phone sitting at the head of my bed where I had cradled it in anticipation for the morning phone call.
Well now you know where it is.

I dialed the number, all the while feeling foolish over my memory lapse.
“You. Have. One. New. Message.”

I listened intently as my voicemail of course had to choose this very moment to play through all of my old messages I’d saved. There’s no way of by passing this clever little feature, so I waited impatiently.

“To. Erase. This. Message. Press. 7. To. Save. This. Message. And. Put. It. Into. The. Archive. Press-“
9! 999999!!! Get on with it!

Once the parade of friendly voices, important memos, and even one inexplicable recording of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” had passed I finally was able to listen.

“Hi Katie this is Mimi Webb Miller, from the LG project” YES! “I’m trying to get ahold of your agent but I’m not getting through. If you have the chance call me back.” My hand flew across my desk, knocking over my rubber band ball (homemade) and grabbed my Bic. I scribbled the number down and rewound the message several time to make sure I got it down right. I took a deep breath and dialed her number.

Ring
What am I going to say?
Ring
Hey this is Katie, you wanted to tell me something? Hint hint nudge nudge YEAHH?
Ring
No, more professional.
Ring
Like, this is Katie Elsaesser and I just received you call, sorry I’m a lameo and forgot my phone at home.
Ring
No! Don’t admit that!
“Hi you’ve reached Mimi, from Mimi Webb Miller Casting…”
Opp, message! Make sure it’s short and brief
Beeeepp

“Uh, hi this is… Katie, from the audition, and you called my phone earlier?”
Don’t open with a question, she’ll think you’re unsure of yourself! Remember what Tina Fey says, talk in statements!
“The problem is I left my phone at home so I’m calling from work...”
Now you sound irresponsible.
“If you need anything please call me here at work,”

I then gave my personal extension and then tried to give my agents number. I automatically reached down for my phone, forgetting I didn’t have it with me. So I scrambled again.

“My… uhh… agents’ number… which is” Quick Google! “Sorry I had it right here…” Load dammit! “Ah here we are-“
“Goodbye.”
WHAT? That phone just hung up on me!

I frantically dialed the number again.
Ring. Ring.
For the love of-
“Hi! It’s me again, sorry to drop off like that in the last message I couldn’t find the number but I have it now here” Oh crap the window closed. BRING IT BACK BRING IT BACK. “…it is…”

My face turned beet red as I hung up the phone and turned back to my battery certificates. I let the embarrassment wash over me and then continued working. Every time I heard the line for the front desk ring I would sit on edge waiting for it to be transferred to me. The minutes ticked by slowly as I forgot my task of printing out two certificates for an Edward Dickhaus and a Brian Reagan (literally their names), and just stared at my phone waiting for something to happen.

Anything to happen…
Finally the watched pot boiled.
RING!
“This is Katie”
“Hey Katie, do you know where the storage room key is?”
False alarm.
My heart dropped as I answered, “Yeah it’s up front.”

Around 4 o’clock and an hour before I would be off I decided to call my phone again. There was yet another message from Mimi.

I anxiously waited for the computer to shut its big mechanical yapper about when the message was received.
“You. Have. One. Unheard. Message. This. Message. Was. Received. At…”
SHUT UP!
“First. Unheard….Message….”
“Hi Katie, it's Mimi. Yeah we’re still having some difficulty getting in contact with your agent, we need to get an approval on something. If you have a direct cell phone or anything let me know and I’ll try to reach him that way.”

I slapped the phone down and picked it up dialing Mimi’s number once again.
“Hey Mimi’s it Katie again, guess we’re playing phone tag haha”
You sound desperate.
“Anyway here’s all the ways to contact them that I know.”

Hanging up the phone I called Karim, my agent, but was getting a similar busy signal. I felt naked and helpless without my phone and after sending an email to my agent I couldn’t think of anything else I could do.
A coworker asked me to step into their office to talk about something battery related. We talked about the project as I tried to hide my face by staring at the pictures on his wall, but he caught on to my tricks.
"Everything okay?"
Okay I'm caught. I hate when someone asks you that one question and everything you've been damming up breaks loose in a sudden uncontrollable wave.
My coworker was sweet and said "Tell me everything"
As I did the tears came out more and more. All of this was out of my control and I had nothing else I could do. What I love about my new office is that they get it. They know this is something to help me pay the bills and they understand that my daily task is to focus on acting so when he kept muttering "I'm so sorry" as I explained it only made me cry more.
He let me stay in his office until my face cleared and I finally had control of myself again. It was more than I could ask for and just the release I needed.

When 5 o’clock finally rolled around, I raced home and went immediately to my phone. There were no new messages so I decided to call the casting director one more time.
This time she picked up.

“Hello Mimi?”
“Yes?”
“This is Katie, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day.”
“Yeah, Katie, we needed to get your agent to agree on some paperwork and we finally got ahold of them. We’ll let you know for sure tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, alright.” My heart sunk. I’ve lost it. “So by tomorrow morning do you mean like around 8?”
“I have to get going, but probably around 8:30 or 9 we’ll give you a call if we book you. Thanks.”
Dial Tone.

I wouldn’t be getting the role and I needed to face the facts.
Suck it up, this is what happens.

When morning came and there was still no call by 9:30, I knew it was all over. The hardest thing about this kind of rejection is having to walk back into your day job. I know every actor goes through this, but it doesn’t lessen the pain. Especially when things had been so sparse for so long. The very idea of having to sit in a chair and stare at spreadsheets made me riddled with frustration and anger.

The fact that I was getting upset over a silly commercial is completely ridiculous in retrospect especially when Paula Poundstone puts it like this.

As I was driving to work the thought occurred to me that I might not ever go beyond this day job, that this could possibly “be it.” I know how it sounds, but to come so close to the finish was an unbearable thought. So much so I started yelling in the car.

I screamed “well this is just AWESOME! String me along for two DAYS and not even give a courtesy call to let me know I DIDN’T GET IT! THANKS SO MUCH!”
Ring
“THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS TELL ME ‘Hey we didn’t enjoy your work that much, but thanks for coming in’ BUT NOoOOooO!” I started punching the roof of my car.
Ring
“I can’t believe I LET myself-“
Ring. I suddenly realized that was my phone ringing and small ray of hope cut through my anger.
“What?” I picked up my phone even though it’s illegal to drive with a phone. “H-Hello?”
“Katie?”
“Yes, this is her.”
“Katie, this is Mimi from Mimi Webb Miller casting.”
“Yes, hello” I tried to cool my voice, but there was the slightest hint of aggression.
“I just wanted to let you know…” oh here it comes, well it was nice of her to call me and tell me I didn’t get it “…that We’re BOOKIN YOUR ASS GIRL!”
“Wait. WHAT!? SHUT UP!” Don’t tell her to shut up. “I mean, sorry, NO way!”
“Yes way!” She sounded amused by my reaction, “Look we need you in today for a fitting of your costume and they’ll be filming you on Thursday and Friday.”

We spent the rest of the car ride talking details and what to expect when I got to the studio. She couldn’t have been more personable and lovely and then she dropped this, “Girl, you need to be booking more.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t really prepared for that.
“Well you’re too talented, you should be doing bigger things. You need to be training with Groundlings or UCB-“
“Oh I’m in the Groundlings program!”
“Good. Because you belong there. Listen I don’t do this much but I’m gonna send you a few names of agencies that you might wanna take a look at. If you like them great, if you don’t whatever.”
“Okay, wow thank you. I’ll look into it.”

I was crying joy and relief of stress by the time I got to work. When I clocked in I started to dance for the receptionist who kept asking “What? What??”

Soon the news spread around the office, and even my “Fun Fact of The Day” board had a message with stars and exclamation points that I had just booked my first commercial.
I was on cloud nine.