Way Off Target

I'm not the best when it comes to shopping for clothes for a few reasons. I get impatient, I'm not huge on crowds, and inevitably I always end up in the maternity section.

(Let me be clear, I don't want a baby, I don't need a baby, I don't have baby fever, but dammit if those clothes don't look comfy!)

I have a callback Wednesday for a fairly nerdy project. Apart from a Flash t-shirt my roommate gave me, after I repeatedly requested to borrow it, I don't have many nerdy shirts. Shocking, I know, but I'm not much of a clothing splurger. I prefer springing my dough on fancy food or binge trips to Costco. 

I used the Flash shirt for the initial audition, so I knew that selection was out of the question. I have an Assassin's Creed hoodie, but that's hard to identify. I have a "Its Dangerous to Go Alone, Take This" but even that is shockingly hard to identify in an audition sometimes. There's my "BETTY is WHITE hot!" shirt, but that one fits better in my hipster selection than to scream out "nerd!" Needless to say I need something more commercial and recognizable. 

So where should I go for a quick and easy purchase at a store that's open semi late with decent prices? 

Target of course!

It's on my way home so I pop in for a quick look in the woman's section.

"Oh nice sweater!" I beam, passing the first section. 

"Stripes, I love stripes!" I bounce as I pass the second section.

"Oh my gosh this is so friggin cute! What is this? Maybe I'll splurge even a little...what's this extra large tag?" DAMMIT MATERNITY SECTION!! (This is real life)

Confused, I look around again. I must be missing the graphic tees section. I walk up to an employee and ask about where the women's graphic tees are. She points me to them and I laugh saying, "Oh no, not the section with the shitty cat shirt that says 'Meowy Christmas,' I mean the actual graphic tees." 

She points to the same section again. 

Dread fills my heart. 

"There must be a mistake," I glare at the single rack. This "selection" consists of one "High Heels High Hopes" shirt,  one "I'll be Gnome for Christmas," and one Tinkerbell shirt. Guhh Tinkerbell. 

"There must be a mistake...." I mutter again. My eye glances and hope flashes when I see a light blue Empire Strikes Back shirt. But it's a high cut, belly exposing (who has two thumbs and a long torso? This goof!) and... I'm really more of a Jedi Returns kind of girl... 

The employee then says the words that I know are coming but still ramp up my rage:

"There's more in the men's section"

"OF COURSE THERE ARE!" I shout uncontrollably.

 I look back and swear to God that Tinkerbell winks and twerks at me.

I ascend to the second floor where low and behold the men's section not only carries graphic tees, but there's a WHOLE section dedicated to it! They have Transformers, Marvel Heroes, DC Heroes, Ninja Turtles (The legit 80's non-Steroid-Hulked-Out-Michael-Bay-ACTUAL-Turtles!!), for God's sake they have Los Pollos Hermanos and Minecraft graphic tees! 

A Whole Freaking Section dedicated to all things nerd and referential!! 

I pick a small men's Batman tee and begrudgingly pay the $16.18, all while debating whether my feminism really had a place in this Van Nuts Target or not. 

But am I insane? Shouldn't we women be allowed a better selection than that smug bitch Tinker Bell?! 

I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH YOU TINK! 

It's a silly thing to make this a big deal, it being consumerism and all, but haven't the Felicia Day's and Aisha Tyler's of the world been a prominent enough voice to let people know that some of us are actual nerds and can't stand the oversexualized iconography found on our clothing? 

Works for me

Lemme hear your thoughts!