I Scared A Little Girl Today...

Well technically it was yesterday but I couldn't post this till today.

So as the story usually goes I was at an audition. I had received a casting notice for a production that involved masks and puppetry. I was especially excited about the puppet because ever since Muppet Treasure Island graced my childhood I had always had a small yearning to be a muppeteer. So I submitted and got called in for Sunday in the morning right at 11:20.

I had honestly considered not going over various reasons like being too tired, exhausted from getting cut from virtually every audition I go on, and more specifically the world cup was on at 11:30! I had gone back and forth, waffling over whether it was worth it. Until the night before I was talking with my sister and she asked how I was doing and if I had any auditions coming up. I told her honestly that I had been pretty down lately after being rejected so many times, and was debating on whether or not it was even worth going to this crazy mask and puppet audition. This of course is just the life of an actor, being rejected on a regular basis, but it can be extremely trying and sometimes I let it eek over into other areas in my life.

Like not feeling confident enough to make real decisions. I get flustered and untrusting of how I make my choices, deeming my skills in decision making as flawed because I clearly haven't been very successful in my career yet. It's a long way around the bend, but that's how my thinking twists in my head.

"I just really want to be in a show!" I whined. (Because I am an adult and that's what we do)

"Well you know how you get into a show?" my sister asks ironically.

Smirking I nodded and decided it was best to go to this silly audition.

The requirements seemed simple enough, bring in a movement piece and we will have a cd player if you need back up music. When I got home from my sisters house that night it was nearing midnight, a mere eleven hours before I had to be at the audition. As soon as I sat down to think about what I was going to do my mind went blank.

Great timing brain.

I looked up my iTunes music to see what I had in storage but realized that my computer is awesome and had randomly deleted over half my library, just because it felt like it. So every other song would pop up a message something like "This file could not be found because it potentially does not exist, would you like to try and locate it?"

Sweet.
I was at a loss until I remembered a project a good friend of mine had created. It included music from Amelie. I loved the movie and the music, and the way my friend incorporated it into her show worked really well in regards to movement.

Now I'm not one for stealing ideas. Perhaps expanding on ideas is more what I do, but I did feel a little guilt in the back of my mind that I wasn't being entirely original. But I did it anyway.

I picked the third song on the cd "La noyée" and began to burst a vein trying to think of a simple story I could express with just my body.

It was nearing 1:30 when I finally settled on the genius plan that this would be about a girl getting up for work. She can barely lift her head until she has her coffee then realizes she's late and rush out the door. She'd try to catch a cab being blown over by the cars rushing past and eventually had to pay someone for their scooter.

It was cute, simple, and quaint but at 1:30 in the morning... it was brilliant!

I realized as it was nearing 2 that I was using my face way too much. Considering this was supposed to be a masked piece in which we "expressed emotions through movement" I was pretty sure facial expressions might be considered cheating. So before I went to bed I set my alarm to wake up right before Jo-Ann's opened their doors.
As the alarm went off "La noyée" played and I did a quick rehearsal of the piece before I was up and about getting ready for the day.

I rushed off to Jo-Ann's in Glendale nearly missing it twice because it's in a really random area of town. I was helped by a next to clueless man who ended up having to turn me over to a much younger and more assured clerk. As soon as the receipt was handed over I was tearing open the plastic package and taking out the blank mask.

I examined the mask in my car timidly putting it on and looking at myself in the mirror.

I looked like a creep. Especially with my hair down.

Becoming ridiculously shy in the empty Jo-Ann's parking lot I started my car and headed off to the audition. When I arrived I was about 40 minutes early, so I parked in a free residential area. Seeing as I hadn't practiced the piece with the mask I decided to do a quick run through in my car.

Paranoid, as always, I looked around to see if there was anyone watching. The houses looked deserted and I assumed everyone was watching the world cup.

Come on I coaxed myself. Don't get shy now. Since when have you been so bashful?

Considering this for a minute I pulled the blank mask down over my head and played the music. I quickly became aware of how hard it was going to be just to breathe. I moved through the motions and noted where I'd have difficulty seeing and how I'd have to move more specifically to get an emotion across. I was suddenly on fire with inspiration. I ran through the movements with great flourish and without hesitation.

As I neared the end of the piece I whipped my head up and saw the little girl staring at me.
She was walking with her mom down the sidewalk I was parked on. She was maybe four or five years old and wore a pink shirt and her hair was in sloppy pig tails, falling out most likely from running around too much. Her face was serious, as though the morning’s exuberance had never happened. She'd walk two steps or so and turn back, her mother dragging her along.

I sat in my car frozen to my seat, as though I had been caught in the act; which... I had been. The girl noticed me staring back at her and stopped dead in her tracks no longer allowing her mother to take a single step further. Confused her mother turned as well. I sat their horrified that creepy ol me was still wearing this masking sitting in my car... my hands still up in the air.

Slowly I lowered my hands and lifted the mask off.

The girl dropped her mother’s hand, as though she had confirmed that this weirdo had finally materialized into reality. And mom kept staring too.

Uncomfortable and glowing bright red I checked around my car as if there were something else they might be looking at. I thought maybe there was something more eccentric than me around... but nope it was just me. And them.

I turned back around to see their backs faced to me as mom rushed tiny pig tails away from whatever this was.
Part of me was thoroughly embarrassed.

But the other part, that crazy deranged side that's kept me doing theater for years... that part laughed.