I suppose a seasoned actor would take this news, shrug their shoulders and head home. I am not a seasoned actor, yet. Therefore I proceeded to dance and call everyone I knew, mainly my sister, my dad, and my step mom. I proffered over and over that I didn’t know if it was for sure and that plenty of actors get cut when waiting on avail but I had a good feeling about this.
It was Monday night and the message had said “tomorrow morning,” so I assumed that meant 8 o’clock Tuesday morning I’d know everything. Eight was a happy medium in the business, not so awful as 7 am, and not so lazy 10am. When I got home it took everything in my will to go to sleep. My dreams were filled to the brim with scenarios of getting the job, not getting the job, getting the job and they make it into a movie. In essence, I had no idea what to expect. When I woke up the next morning I flew out of bed to go to work.
In the excitement of all my grandiose thoughts and dreams I forgot to pack my phone with me. I even made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t be watching it like a hawk the whole day, so I spent the first half of work ignoring my purse where I assumed it was hanging out.
It wasn’t until 2 o’clock that I couldn’t take it anymore and I ripped open my purse only to find my wallet and a few empty gum wrappers.
Oh crap
I searched through everything, my pockets, my desk, even my Tupperware from lunch (you never know). It was nowhere to be found. For a brief second I entertained the thought that someone had stolen my phone. My non-internet-connecting-would-be-analog-brick of a phone.
Katie! Wake up, no one’s stolen your phone, and it’s not the 90’s! Check the voicemail.
Just then I got a crystal clear picture of my phone sitting at the head of my bed where I had cradled it in anticipation for the morning phone call.
Well now you know where it is.
I dialed the number, all the while feeling foolish over my memory lapse.
“You. Have. One. New. Message.”
I listened intently as my voicemail of course had to choose this very moment to play through all of my old messages I’d saved. There’s no way of by passing this clever little feature, so I waited impatiently.
“To. Erase. This. Message. Press. 7. To. Save. This. Message. And. Put. It. Into. The. Archive. Press-“
9! 999999!!! Get on with it!
Once the parade of friendly voices, important memos, and even one inexplicable recording of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” had passed I finally was able to listen.
“Hi Katie this is Mimi Webb Miller, from the LG project” YES! “I’m trying to get ahold of your agent but I’m not getting through. If you have the chance call me back.” My hand flew across my desk, knocking over my rubber band ball (homemade) and grabbed my Bic. I scribbled the number down and rewound the message several time to make sure I got it down right. I took a deep breath and dialed her number.
Ring
What am I going to say?
Ring
Hey this is Katie, you wanted to tell me something? Hint hint nudge nudge YEAHH?
Ring
No, more professional.
Ring
Like, this is Katie Elsaesser and I just received you call, sorry I’m a lameo and forgot my phone at home.
Ring
No! Don’t admit that!
“Hi you’ve reached Mimi, from Mimi Webb Miller Casting…”
Opp, message! Make sure it’s short and brief
Beeeepp
“Uh, hi this is… Katie, from the audition, and you called my phone earlier?”
Don’t open with a question, she’ll think you’re unsure of yourself! Remember what Tina Fey says, talk in statements!
“The problem is I left my phone at home so I’m calling from work...”
Now you sound irresponsible.
“If you need anything please call me here at work,”
I then gave my personal extension and then tried to give my agents number. I automatically reached down for my phone, forgetting I didn’t have it with me. So I scrambled again.
“My… uhh… agents’ number… which is” Quick Google! “Sorry I had it right here…” Load dammit! “Ah here we are-“
“Goodbye.”
WHAT? That phone just hung up on me!
I frantically dialed the number again.
Ring. Ring.
For the love of-
“Hi! It’s me again, sorry to drop off like that in the last message I couldn’t find the number but I have it now here” Oh crap the window closed. BRING IT BACK BRING IT BACK. “…it is…”
My face turned beet red as I hung up the phone and turned back to my battery certificates. I let the embarrassment wash over me and then continued working. Every time I heard the line for the front desk ring I would sit on edge waiting for it to be transferred to me. The minutes ticked by slowly as I forgot my task of printing out two certificates for an Edward Dickhaus and a Brian Reagan (literally their names), and just stared at my phone waiting for something to happen.
Anything to happen…
Finally the watched pot boiled.
RING!
“This is Katie”
“Hey Katie, do you know where the storage room key is?”
False alarm.
My heart dropped as I answered, “Yeah it’s up front.”
Around 4 o’clock and an hour before I would be off I decided to call my phone again. There was yet another message from Mimi.
I anxiously waited for the computer to shut its big mechanical yapper about when the message was received.
“You. Have. One. Unheard. Message. This. Message. Was. Received. At…”
SHUT UP!
“First. Unheard….Message….”
“Hi Katie, it's Mimi. Yeah we’re still having some difficulty getting in contact with your agent, we need to get an approval on something. If you have a direct cell phone or anything let me know and I’ll try to reach him that way.”
I slapped the phone down and picked it up dialing Mimi’s number once again.
“Hey Mimi’s it Katie again, guess we’re playing phone tag haha”
You sound desperate.
“Anyway here’s all the ways to contact them that I know.”
Hanging up the phone I called Karim, my agent, but was getting a similar busy signal. I felt naked and helpless without my phone and after sending an email to my agent I couldn’t think of anything else I could do.
A coworker asked me to step into their office to talk about something battery related. We talked about the project as I tried to hide my face by staring at the pictures on his wall, but he caught on to my tricks.
"Everything okay?"
Okay I'm caught. I hate when someone asks you that one question and everything you've been damming up breaks loose in a sudden uncontrollable wave.
My coworker was sweet and said "Tell me everything"
As I did the tears came out more and more. All of this was out of my control and I had nothing else I could do. What I love about my new office is that they get it. They know this is something to help me pay the bills and they understand that my daily task is to focus on acting so when he kept muttering "I'm so sorry" as I explained it only made me cry more.
He let me stay in his office until my face cleared and I finally had control of myself again. It was more than I could ask for and just the release I needed.
When 5 o’clock finally rolled around, I raced home and went immediately to my phone. There were no new messages so I decided to call the casting director one more time.
This time she picked up.
“Hello Mimi?”
“Yes?”
“This is Katie, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day.”
“Yeah, Katie, we needed to get your agent to agree on some paperwork and we finally got ahold of them. We’ll let you know for sure tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, alright.” My heart sunk. I’ve lost it. “So by tomorrow morning do you mean like around 8?”
“I have to get going, but probably around 8:30 or 9 we’ll give you a call if we book you. Thanks.”
Dial Tone.
I wouldn’t be getting the role and I needed to face the facts.
Suck it up, this is what happens.
When morning came and there was still no call by 9:30, I knew it was all over. The hardest thing about this kind of rejection is having to walk back into your day job. I know every actor goes through this, but it doesn’t lessen the pain. Especially when things had been so sparse for so long. The very idea of having to sit in a chair and stare at spreadsheets made me riddled with frustration and anger.
The fact that I was getting upset over a silly commercial is completely ridiculous in retrospect especially when Paula Poundstone puts it like this.
As I was driving to work the thought occurred to me that I might not ever go beyond this day job, that this could possibly “be it.” I know how it sounds, but to come so close to the finish was an unbearable thought. So much so I started yelling in the car.
I screamed “well this is just AWESOME! String me along for two DAYS and not even give a courtesy call to let me know I DIDN’T GET IT! THANKS SO MUCH!”
Ring
“THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS TELL ME ‘Hey we didn’t enjoy your work that much, but thanks for coming in’ BUT NOoOOooO!” I started punching the roof of my car.
Ring
“I can’t believe I LET myself-“
Ring. I suddenly realized that was my phone ringing and small ray of hope cut through my anger.
“What?” I picked up my phone even though it’s illegal to drive with a phone. “H-Hello?”
“Katie?”
“Yes, this is her.”
“Katie, this is Mimi from Mimi Webb Miller casting.”
“Yes, hello” I tried to cool my voice, but there was the slightest hint of aggression.
“I just wanted to let you know…” oh here it comes, well it was nice of her to call me and tell me I didn’t get it “…that We’re BOOKIN YOUR ASS GIRL!”
“Wait. WHAT!? SHUT UP!” Don’t tell her to shut up. “I mean, sorry, NO way!”
“Yes way!” She sounded amused by my reaction, “Look we need you in today for a fitting of your costume and they’ll be filming you on Thursday and Friday.”
We spent the rest of the car ride talking details and what to expect when I got to the studio. She couldn’t have been more personable and lovely and then she dropped this, “Girl, you need to be booking more.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t really prepared for that.
“Well you’re too talented, you should be doing bigger things. You need to be training with Groundlings or UCB-“
“Oh I’m in the Groundlings program!”
“Good. Because you belong there. Listen I don’t do this much but I’m gonna send you a few names of agencies that you might wanna take a look at. If you like them great, if you don’t whatever.”
“Okay, wow thank you. I’ll look into it.”
I was crying joy and relief of stress by the time I got to work. When I clocked in I started to dance for the receptionist who kept asking “What? What??”
Soon the news spread around the office, and even my “Fun Fact of The Day” board had a message with stars and exclamation points that I had just booked my first commercial.
I was on cloud nine.
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