Frued Is Messing Up My Flow

When I start working on a project I get overly excited about the idea. I dream big. Everything and anything is in the realm of possibility and I feel like my resources are limitless.

Then it hits.

One minute I’m flying on the wings of an idea the next I’m face planted into a cement wall of doubt. I start thinking, you can’t do that. Or my God why on earth would that ever work? Or even, do you realize what you’re doing by starting this project? Yes, ruining your career. That’s what you’re doing.
Now this may seem harsh but my conscious is the only one to clearly pose these questions. It’s my sensor that helps me double check whether or not I’m headed down the right path. I hate listening to it but I feel like it’s been placed there to at least to keep myself in check.

When I was studying psych we constantly talked about that pesky subject, the id ego and superego. I had a high school teacher originally explain this theory to me in my Junior Humanities course. He said that the Superego was that tight ass who wore the button up shirt underneath the checkered sweater vest all the while adjusting his glasses, where as the “id was well…” Then he proceeded to make various caveman noises and grope the air. This meaning that the id was our caveman side who only sought the basic needs, food, shelter, sleep, and sex. Between these two is the ego trying to ration with each side and choose the most logical outcome.

It’s a simple explanation, I’d later go on to understand it more in depth, but to a Junior in high school it was the perfect visual.

I think my superego is off the hook. That little tight ass is driving me nuts. It keeps me in check but it also gives me doubt and heightened frustration. Every project I start isn’t good enough. Every idea I have falls short. All the while my id is off in the corner distracting me and pulling me off topic, usually with food. I’ll be writing or working on an idea when out of nowhere it starts in…
Id- “Food”
Me- (or maybe it’s my ego…) “You just ate a snack five minutes ago.”
Id- “FOoOOoOD”
Me- “But I’m working, give me a few more minutes”
Id- “apple and peanut butter”
Me- “Oh. That does sound good…”

And off I go. Sometimes it’s an ice cream sandwich and my superego jumps up and tells me how unhealthy that it. And on and on they go.

Here’s my diagnosis, I have developed a shy ego. My monitor between the two needs to step it up and take over. Time to stop being a pansy and just enjoy the moments as they come.

But I wonder, where does my insane need to be n facebook come from?

Time to back to writing. Or maybe taking a shower…

~Goof