Way Off Target

I'm not the best when it comes to shopping for clothes for a few reasons. I get impatient, I'm not huge on crowds, and inevitably I always end up in the maternity section.

(Let me be clear, I don't want a baby, I don't need a baby, I don't have baby fever, but dammit if those clothes don't look comfy!)

I have a callback Wednesday for a fairly nerdy project. Apart from a Flash t-shirt my roommate gave me, after I repeatedly requested to borrow it, I don't have many nerdy shirts. Shocking, I know, but I'm not much of a clothing splurger. I prefer springing my dough on fancy food or binge trips to Costco. 

I used the Flash shirt for the initial audition, so I knew that selection was out of the question. I have an Assassin's Creed hoodie, but that's hard to identify. I have a "Its Dangerous to Go Alone, Take This" but even that is shockingly hard to identify in an audition sometimes. There's my "BETTY is WHITE hot!" shirt, but that one fits better in my hipster selection than to scream out "nerd!" Needless to say I need something more commercial and recognizable. 

So where should I go for a quick and easy purchase at a store that's open semi late with decent prices? 

Target of course!

It's on my way home so I pop in for a quick look in the woman's section.

"Oh nice sweater!" I beam, passing the first section. 

"Stripes, I love stripes!" I bounce as I pass the second section.

"Oh my gosh this is so friggin cute! What is this? Maybe I'll splurge even a little...what's this extra large tag?" DAMMIT MATERNITY SECTION!! (This is real life)

Confused, I look around again. I must be missing the graphic tees section. I walk up to an employee and ask about where the women's graphic tees are. She points me to them and I laugh saying, "Oh no, not the section with the shitty cat shirt that says 'Meowy Christmas,' I mean the actual graphic tees." 

She points to the same section again. 

Dread fills my heart. 

"There must be a mistake," I glare at the single rack. This "selection" consists of one "High Heels High Hopes" shirt,  one "I'll be Gnome for Christmas," and one Tinkerbell shirt. Guhh Tinkerbell. 

"There must be a mistake...." I mutter again. My eye glances and hope flashes when I see a light blue Empire Strikes Back shirt. But it's a high cut, belly exposing (who has two thumbs and a long torso? This goof!) and... I'm really more of a Jedi Returns kind of girl... 

The employee then says the words that I know are coming but still ramp up my rage:

"There's more in the men's section"

"OF COURSE THERE ARE!" I shout uncontrollably.

 I look back and swear to God that Tinkerbell winks and twerks at me.

I ascend to the second floor where low and behold the men's section not only carries graphic tees, but there's a WHOLE section dedicated to it! They have Transformers, Marvel Heroes, DC Heroes, Ninja Turtles (The legit 80's non-Steroid-Hulked-Out-Michael-Bay-ACTUAL-Turtles!!), for God's sake they have Los Pollos Hermanos and Minecraft graphic tees! 

A Whole Freaking Section dedicated to all things nerd and referential!! 

I pick a small men's Batman tee and begrudgingly pay the $16.18, all while debating whether my feminism really had a place in this Van Nuts Target or not. 

But am I insane? Shouldn't we women be allowed a better selection than that smug bitch Tinker Bell?! 

I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH YOU TINK! 

It's a silly thing to make this a big deal, it being consumerism and all, but haven't the Felicia Day's and Aisha Tyler's of the world been a prominent enough voice to let people know that some of us are actual nerds and can't stand the oversexualized iconography found on our clothing? 

Works for me

Lemme hear your thoughts! 

The Leftovers

Can someone Please explain to me what's going on?!?

I really want to enjoy this show but it feels like I'm watching the second season of Lost with someone who can't be bothered to explain the first season. So many questions!

1. Where'd their people go? - Okay everyone is asking that, and honestly I'm fine if we don't know this for a while
2. What the hell is with the dogs? - Remember that guy who shot the dog and we were all "Aww what a dick!" and then we were all "yeah kill em!" Why? Why? What's with them, and this leads me into
3. Who is that one dude who shot the dogs? - Remember the dogs? We never got a straight answer, did they vanish? Did they run away? Are they rabid? Why am I suddenly on rando guys side when he starts shooting the dogs?? (WHY ARE WE SHOOTING DOGS?) and also...
4. Who is Rando Dog shooter, and Is he real? - We don't know, they've alluded to him not being there, but how will we know? Will we ever have answers, not wait don't read that, that's another listed question
5. Who are the GR? - Who the hell are these people in white?? And also
1. Why white?
2. What does "GR" stand for?
   
3. Who joins a cult to smoke?
4. Why do they say it's not a cult?
5. Why won't they talk?
6. Why are they dickweeds to people?
7. Why was Kevin's wife such a dickweed last week?
8. Why does Liv Tyler care about them?
9. Did Liv ever figure out the why the message behind the futility of chopping down the tree??? BECAUSE WE DIDNT!
10. How awful were they to the minister?
11. WHY?
6. Is this a rapture parable, or is it a different story all together? - There's obviously a lot of religious themes in this show, which is fine, but if they're there to further the story I want them, if there there to divert me from what the hell is going on then knock it off! (Like Damon Lindelof and Tom Perrotta care what I say, but please clarify, please!) 
7. Is it really Sci-Fi? - If it's for realsie sci-fi, awesome, I'm all for it. But you gotta give me something to hang my hat on! IE- Rando townsperson - "Hey Kevin Garvey who ya talking to? BECAUSE NO ONE IS THERE" right when dog shooter waves at Rando and says "Teehee!" then evaporates in front of our eyes! Ahhh, now I know it's sci-fi!
8. Who the hell is Wayne? - You know the guy with the magic hugs? Wtf?! nuff said.
9. Tom. Good kid? Bad kid? Confused kid? Good kid who wants to be bad? Bad kid who wants to be good? - Just give me one answer. A hint, even. Your sister, we get. She's the okay kid hanging with the wrong crowd because shit's gone down at home. We can't blame her, she still has a good heart in there, especially when she decides not to flame the baby Jesus. 
10. Will we ever have answers? - Trust me I watched the JJ "Mystery Box" TED talk as much the next geek. I get it. Mystery makes amazing plot. Especially when you can string it together in the end. But when the ENTIRE story is mystery I either feel out of the loop or like I'm sitting through a Beckett play. We all had to sit through those. We all don't get it. Even when you say you do. You really don't get it. Get off your high horse PhD, you don't understand Beckett, you're just as lost as we are. 

Please. Please don't be a Beckett Play. 

Like...Please. 

The Curse and Blessing of Really Good Ears

I've always had pretty great hearing, but it's not all a bag of chips.

Loud noises make me jump a little higher, people eating near me is a little more annoying, and soft conversations aren't as private as you'd hope.

When I started auditioning I could hear the people in the room doing their take on the lines. I could even hear the muffled reactions of how it was going and learned quickly how to adjust myself. I try not to do this anymore because in general it's easier to perform without the influence of someone else's take.

What sucks about great hearing is high pitch sounds are insane, but not a lot of other people can hear it. There's a museum that I've been to with my aunt and sister several times that has one of those juvenile deterrent beeps. It's supposed to keep kids from loitering away and it really works because my ears go nuts when I'm around it. I told my aunt and sister about this and neither could hear it, leaving me to believe that I've gone insane. Until we visited the same place a few years later and the same thing happened.

There's another one of  these beepy things on La Brea and Sunset near the Jim Henson studios that drives me bonkers, especially when I'm stuck in traffic.

I'm currently working in an office where I'm 11 floors up. Way down below and across the street I can hear the construction going on. And I can hear all of it.
Every beep, every shout, all with the normal everyday sounds of the person down the hall, the woman on the phone, the creaking of my chair, The typing in the cubicle across the office, the conversation behind a closed door, and probably twinge of the elevator swaying four levels above us (okay maybe not that, but still).

What I'm trying to say is that I'm superman. This world is too loud.
 If everyone could please quiet down, I would much appreciate it. Thank youuuuu!

~The Goof

TV for Homework

I've been watching a crap ton of tv lately, and I couldn't be happier to be doing it. That's the insane-o thing is that this is my homework. I literally have to watch tv for homework! How boss is that?

Personally I wish I has known this in college. I wish it had been part of my ridiculously high tuition to go watch movies, tv shows, and commercials. I think I may have been more prepared for the road that's ahead of me, but I guess that's great lesson of higher education, time to think for yourself. 

I Missed A Day!

Ughh! I guess I'm only human and it was bound to happen. I've made it 32 days straight of blogging each day, don't they say it takes 30 days to develop a habit? 

I assumed that by day 29 this would just be second nature. Going 90 days was my way of solidifying the habit, you know there times over. 

Well one out of 31 doesn't seem so bad! I'll just have to see how the next 30 days go I suppose! 

Yay goals! 

Best Day

Pilot released.

Great audition.

Family.

Most ideal day I've ever had

John Cleese: Brilliance

I friggin love comedians. I grew up on Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, but then there was the Holy Grail of comedy: the Brits.

The first time I saw Ministry of Silly Walks I literally thought "This. Is. Everything. I. Want."

To be fair I had had the same reaction when I saw the Karate Kid the week before, but it was still very formative. Or the time I wrote to Drew Barrymore telling her how kick ass it was to see a female action star (Charlie's Angels)! Trying to help her understand that Ralph Macchio had nothing on her!
My fan mail was inexplicably  replied with a  headshot of Drew, a Samuel French catalog of plays, and no explanation. If I thought hard enough it was probably a Hollywood Guide to Starting, but it was hard to decipher how wanting to be a comdey action girl and a complete list of Tennessee Williams' plays were connected.

 I was grateful nonetheless.
Formative as my experience was, nothing compares to the letter this 14 year old received after asking if John Cleese had a fan club:

Posted by Reddit user  Anomatia

I mean... its hard not to be insanely jealous of this guy. What makes it even better is that Michael Palin couldn't help but add his two cents in this hand written letter!

Posted by BuzzFeed, originally by Matt Hyde

It seems clear to me that I made the wrong choices as a kid. It's a hard lesson to learn so late in life, but at least I learned it now. Hopefully I can make the right decision the next time I choose to write to Drew Barrymore or John Cleese.